Book Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died
What’s it about?
We know her most as Sam from iCarly but she is so much more that that. Jennette McCurdy was raised by her mother and father with three older brothers.
Her mother was her best friend. They did everything together. They even dreamed together. Well, it was her mom who did most of the dreaming while Jennette spent most of her energy trying to be who others wanted her to be. But it wasn’t until she was in her twenties that she realized that the way her mother treated her wasn’t healthy. From restricting calories (which would later mutate into purging), guilt trips and bribes, Jennette’s childhood was different then most of ours.
What I thought:
I debated on whether or not to write this review. I wasn’t sure what I’d say if I did write it. But then I realized how important this book could be to someone and I knew that it deserved a review. I wasn’t overly excited about this book when it first came out. I wouldn’t have called myself a Jennette McCurdy fan, though I knew who she was because my son had watched iCarly when it was on and I wasn’t dying to hear about what happened behind the scenes. But people kept talking about it and about how good it was and I heard that it’s not about that, it’s about her journey with abuse, struggling mental health and healing and I was sold.
As usual, I didn’t’ expect what I was getting myself into. I knew she was going to talk about eating disorders and while my relationship with food isn’t the most healthy and I did become acquainted with eating disorders, we never got intimate so I was interested to see what her experience was. I heard that she was abused and, as many, I assumed it was physically. I was partially right.
What I didn’t think I’d find is a story about a girl who didn’t view herself as a victim, despite so much of her childhood was blanketed in abuse and the need to be who others wanted her to be. She didn’t even feel that she could have her own favorite color! I didn’t’ expect her abuse to look like it did. Almost covert unless you know the red flags to look for. Of course, some parts of it wasn’t so ninja like. But the level of manipulation was sickening.Jennette became an actress and grew up never ever getting to explore who she was, who she wanted to be or understanding any of it. She was molded to be this perfect daughter who lived for her mother and told that this was love. That this is what was best for her. It was hard to read. I wanted so desperately to grab Jannette and hug her, let her know that she’s strong and amazing; she’s loved and seen even when she was sure everyone just saw her as Sam. She’ll neve know how strong she truly is to survive what she did and to come out the other end knowing that she has value. It made me want to cry with pride.I wanted to let her know that she’s not alone and that her dreams are worth chasing.
I was blown away by how vulnerable and bare she was. I know that writing this story, putting it into words and putting it out into the world for everyone to read couldn’t have been easy for her. I fear how much of the story wasn’t told becuase it wasn’t her part to tell, or because she wasn’t ready to go there yet or because she just couldn’t bare to let everyone see it and my heart breaks for her all over again.
I did wish that she had spoken more about her mental health and healing from the abuse. How did she go from Deb’s (her mother’s)“perfect daughter” to Jennette. What obstacles did she come face to face with and how did she get over or around them? What was facing her abuse like? What was the moment she saw and knew that the way her mother treated her was abusive? I’m not sure why she focused so much more on the eating disorder. There are so many reasons why this could be and I did cheer for her as she reached new milestones along her journey. But I did miss that other side of healing that we don’t really get to see.
It isn’t going to be the right book for everyone but I think it’s important that we hear stories like hers; stories in which the scars, the abuse isn’t visible on the skin. We need to acknowledge the amount of pain and damage that emotional and mental abuse can leave in it’s wake. And we need to know that, if we’ve experienced these kinds of abuse, we’re not alone. We’re seen. There’s hope and we do matter. We can heal. We need to realize that our words have power and we get to choose how to wield that power. Will we do it with kindness and make the world a better place, or will we do it with something so much darker and leave gaping wounds among the sensitive scars of those around us and the world at large. None of this is easy, but it’s a choice we must all make.
My Ratings:
I give this book a
6
out of
10 hamburgers
But that’s just what I thought. What did you think? Did you have a strong emotional response to her story as I did? Was there something you wanted to know more about? Let us know in the comments.
